Friday, December 16, 2011
Can't escape the feeling that this isnt fair?
Okay well when I was 14 years old , a man began to abuse me and it occured for nearly 3 years of my life of which I was mentally and ually abused. Eventually i plucked up the guts to report him to the police but while he was on bail he abused my friend for about 2-3 weeks. Now we went to court together but all the charges against him where for me and he got 16 years with a parole time of 8. The courts then said we could claim compensation so i decided i would so it would help me make something of myself and go to university. When i got my compensation I was really happy , didnt expect much but the sum I got was great and its going towards my uni fees. However the other day , i got a text of my friend boasting about her compensation , id had mine for ages and never mentioned it. But it was when she told me the sum all the problems happened. I dont want to sound greedy because I am in no way after any more money , i didnt even expect to get any in the first place but the difference between our compensation is literall like �600 and I was happy for her to get money but the fact that she got so much just left me feeling like her case had been taken more seriously . The only thing i can liken it to is like someone who has lost a toe , getting as much compensation as someone who has lost both legs. Its hard to feel important and worthy anyways but when someone puts a price on your past , its hard to not compare things and when looking at how much she got i felt as though the loss of 3 years of my life was not worth as much as her 2-3 weeks and I just cant understand it. Its like they are putting our experiences as being level when they are no where near the same , I have had so many problems since my experience , I have to see a councellor once a week , I had to go back to college because I couldnt cope at first and iddnt do so well , I cant walk down a street without feeling constantly paranoid , I get severly depressed and worst of all , he stole my virginity. She was 18 when she gt attacked , I was 14 and it just feels like my 3 years of pain arent as important as her time . Maybe im being selfish and stuff but its bugging me and i cant get it out of my mind. I just feel like my life is less important. what do you think ?
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